The Last Sword

What are you all putting in your littles Easter baskets? I always overthink this and lose my sanity slightly. For example, today I came out of the dollar tree with foam swords for the boys. They love swords and can't hurt anybody with those foam things, plus they were a dollar - win for momma! I was so stinkin' excited and when I got home B (our youngest) spotted it immediately and is now playing with it. Fighting pirates and things of that sort. Little bit of my sanity gone. I thought "Oh, I'll just hide it when he quits playing with it." Not gonna happen, but thats okay because I have home made chicken pot pie cooking and will eat plenty of carbs and feel okay about the entire situation. Plus, the kid is having a blast!

I usually stick strictly to "Easter" related items but I just couldn't leave the swords behind. Maybe now my kids will quit using their straws as swords...that can be messy.

So, what have you all found and decided to throw in there? I'll be honest I don't order anything offline for Easter or Valentines baskets. I go to the stores and just shop around. Some of my favorite things for Easter baskets include:

Resurrection Eggs - These can be found at Lifeway and are great for the kids to play with and learn all about the Easter store. Love!


Kids Daily Devotional - C loves to win and we love Jesus! So this is always a win-win for him.

I think everyone needs a chocolate bunny (if you don't want it I will gladly eat it (: for you.) Also anything from Target is probably pure gold. I mean there stuff is adorable and their dollar section is pure genius. We always throw in bubbles and usually a kite, the kids love them!

Hope you all are having a blast getting those Easter baskets ready!

To the girl with the low confidence.

Girl with the entirely low confidence,

You woke up this morning and walked in to the bathroom to brush your teeth and comb your hair. You looked in the mirror and the bags under your eyes were noticeable. They were dark and you thought to yourself "I hope my concealer covers this up." Your teeth aren't as white as the models in the magazines. Your skin doesn't glow like their skin either. Your hair? Split Ends. Roots. Frizz. Maybe a new color and cut will make it better...but probably not. You're a little bloated and thats just embarrassing, especially because none of your clothes are baggy enough to hide it and lets be honest, you don't even like your clothes. Your nail polish is chipping and there is a pimple forming on your chin. Lips? Chapped and you can't find the chapstick. Go figure. Your eyebrows need plucking too, because thats only slightly painful. Your confidence is out the window and you get that feeling in your stomach like you might vomit or cry, whichever comes first.

Lets be honest though, no one is perfect and your hair is fine. Chapped lips? It happens to everyone. Pimples? Oh, please find one person who has NEVER had a pimple and if someone gives you a hard time about it then their insecurities are far bigger than yours, trust me. Maybe you want to lose a few pounds and thats okay but God gave you that body and it is your job to love it - no matter what shape or size it is. You do not need to be a size 2 or even a size 10 to be considered "pretty". Size is just a number and does not define beauty. Really. Your teeth will never be as white as those models and your skin will never glow like their skin. Why? Because it isn't even real. Photoshop does wonders for a person...unrealistic wonders. You can try every lotion, spray tan, or teeth-whitening product out there and it won't ever be the same. It might be close but it won't be the same. Find something that you are content and comfortable with and stick to it. Make you happy. Forget the nail polish and the eyebrows. It is so much work and no one can paint the other hand perfectly. No one. Those circles under your eyes can be covered up with make-up but who really cares? You're tired and you have been living your life instead of sleeping it away. I mean you live this life once so dark, baggy, circles under your eyes are completely acceptable. Once again, it happens to everybody.

We, as people, have created this image of the "perfect person" and while some of us have strayed from that, several of us have not. Throw the magazines out if you are going to compare yourself. Forget the polished girls on television if you don't see your own beauty. You are beautiful just as you are. I promise. Do not fall in to this hype of the perfect girl - do not. Looks do not define beauty. Makeup does not necessarily make a person beautiful. Does it help your self confidence? It might and thats okay but do not feel like you are not worthy without it. Do not feel disgusted without it. Do not feel like hiding indoors without it. The only person who looks like you...is you. Share that with the world and own it because you are beautiful.

Sincerely,
the girl who use to have the entirely low confidence

Love of Music

Tomorrow is Valentines Day and we are "feeling the love" around the house today with some of our favorite lovey-dovey tunes while we conquer laundry, dishes, and some organizing. Without further ado, our top 10 love songs:

10. When I Was Your Man - Thomas Rhett
I know what you are thinking...this song is like a sad break-up song, and it is, but it is so filled with love too and we LOVE Thomas Rhett's voice in this Bruno Mars cover. It's just all kinds of wonderful. I've provided the video because well we just love it.

9. A Sky Full of Stars - Coldplay

8. Matt Stell - Meantime (that voice!)

7. We Were Us - Keith Urban & Miranda Lambert

6. Stay With Me - Sam Smith

5. Ho Hey - The Lumineers

4. Feet Don't Touch the Ground - Stoney LaRue
This one has all kinds of special meaning around our house.

3. Never Stop - Safetysuit
If you can listen to this one without crying then you are a champ. I cry. Every. Single. Time.

2. Overwhelmed - Tim McMorris
Who doesn't love a good feel good/lovey song? Swoon.

1. Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran



So, those are currently what we are jamming to at home. What are your favorite love songs right now?

xoox

Friday Fave: thredUP!

Here recently I stumbled upon something quite grand. An online consignment shop.

Who loves shopping online and scoring great deals? Me. Who loves getting rid of their own clothes, from the comfort of their own home, and making some money for doing so? Me. I can do both of those things on thredUP. Awesome, right?

So how does it all work? You just go to their website and request a bag. They will then mail you a giant bag, like seriously its the size of a trash bag, for free. Then you fill that bag up with all the clothes you don't want anymore and send it back to them. Oh, yea, they've already paid for your shipping too. So, it doesn't cost a dime. You can mail in women clothes/accessories/handbags/shoes and children's clothing.

Even better? You can shop on their anytime, whether it be on their website or on their app and they have awesome sales. Just the other day they had a $0.99 event and I scored B 11 shirts for $11 - including shipping. All new, with tags on them. Talk about a steal of a deal. Yesterday, I purchased a vest that I have been swooning over for $2.21.

Needless to say thredUP has quickly become one of my favorite sites and the first place I look for clothing. They have tons of designer pieces and the best sales. Two things I love.

Check it out for yourself and let me know what deals you score. Just click here. Oh, and if you follow that link and make a purchase thredUP will give you $10 off of that purchase just for following the link.

Have a great weekend!

Legacy of love.

Two weeks a go my family suffered an awful loss. My sweet great grandmother, Martha Mae Palmer, went to be with Jesus and so many others that we have lost. She went home. My life has been turned upside down and I find myself missing her more and more as the days pass, but I find comfort in knowing that she is no longer hurting and has made it home, because in the end we all will have our day.

Among this heartache I experienced something so beautiful and Jesus filled. Something that had been right in front of my face for far too long, yet I had never seen its beauty before the pain came rushing in. I remember getting the call the night it happened. I remember my body going limp in the kitchen and just crying. I remember Toby telling me to just get ready and we would leave, we would go be with her in her final moments. Moments, I never wanted to have, because the thought of losing her was something I never wanted to endure. None of us wanted to ever believe it was true. 

My Grandma Mae played a large role in raising me and I am more than thankful for that. She always made me drink my milk before bad and read to her every day after school. She laid my clothes out on the old grey recliner that was retired years ago and always made me something special for breakfast. After school there was always an apple on the table waiting for me. As I got older and had my own children things changed. Instead of apples she was baking Lemon-Apricot Cake and always telling Papa to save me a piece or two because it was my absolute favorite. When things were hard she would pray with me, over the phone or in person. She was so filled with Jesus and it always showed.  She loved my babies just as much as she loved me and I am so thankful they had the chance to know her, to even be in her presence. 

Most importantly my Grandma Mae and my Papa Doc loved each other in ways I have never seen love. Not many people meet on a Greyhound bus and experience love at first sight. Several months a go, my husband and I asked them to tell us how they met, because T had never heard the story before.   Through out the story at some point Grandma said "Well, I was sitting down on the bus ready to go to college and he walked on the bus with a cigarette behind his ear and tattoos. I just knew my Mama would tell me no, but I just fell in love with him and I guess she did too because we lived happily ever after." We just laughed and then Papa went on to talk about how ornery he use to be. The best part about it all was just how happy they were. It's like they had just fallen in love all over again, for the very first time. In that moment I knew that love existed with so much more force than I had ever imagined. My grandparents were married for 68 wonderful years and love never left or subsided, it only grew. I've always wondered if people grow old and just become "comfortable" and if love dwindles, but that day I found out it doesn't have to. I am still young and my love for T grows more and more every day in life's twists and turns. I can only hope that one day we share a love like they did. A legacy of love. That's what we will call it. How lucky I was to see such beauty in such pain in these last few weeks. I have been reminded of that day they shared their story with us, that love, and of all the moments that I now hold on to.

Love is so worth it y'all. I am so lucky to have been loved by her.

Looking back but moving forward.

What was 2014 for me? Rough. In 2014 I moved to a completely new town and realized loneliness was a bit too familiar for me. I grew but I also pulled away from things and people in ways I wished I hadn't. I am still learning, everyday. 2014 has been hard - especially this last month. So, I will leave 2014 here. I will continue to face these problems in 2015 butI will do so with my head held a little higher and with a bit more faith. 

So what are my resolutions? Let's be real. I completely thought about not having any. I rarely follow them, but then I thought..why not just be more personal? Why not just be more real and more honest with myself? Do away with the norm and just do me. So, forget the gym and the eating healthy. This year it is getting real up in here. 

In 2015 I will work on my faith. Church will be a regular thing and I will quit turning away from God. Instead, I will trust him and I will work on that relationship. I will stop being so scared of it and start learning and growing from it. 

In 2015 I am working on me. Sometimes, my down fault is I focus on others way before myself and then I just let myself fall apart. Im working on my faith. My confidence. My trust. Me.

I have to be the best version of me in order to serve God and my family the best I can.

Maybe, it is selfish and I have completely beat myself up over that but 2015 is the year I figure myself out and the year I beat all of these things that forever drag me down and seclude me. 

What your resolutions this year? Your plans and dreams?

xoox

Here's to making plans.

Life tends to be really messy and it tends to throw you in directions you never thought go. It surprises you. You plan for things and then those plans fall through. Being a child is so fantastic in that sense. Girls plan their dream wedding with Prince Charming and boys plan to own a cool car with a pretty girl by their side. Maybe there is a white picket fence, maybe their isn't. The deal is none of that matters - Prince Charming, cool car, the cookie cutter house. None of it is real. We, as humans, can not plan these things. Ultimately, it is not up to us. I suppose that's why being a child is so neat and so simple. We make plans and we aren't reminded that life has its' own plans, God has his own plans for us. We aren't reminded that sometimes His plans can be scary and sometimes they can be heart wrenching. Sometimes we think they don't make sense and sometimes we lose faith. We don't understand and we let the devil in, and we let him win just a little bit. It doesn't mean that he ultimately wins, but he takes that round. It's scary letting the devil win, but the thing is we can always turn the game around, we can always come back to Him.

My heart tends to leave me sometimes. A black hole takes its place. I get caught up in things I will never understand. I look for answers to questions that can never be answered. I make excuses for inexcusable actions because it is easier than hurting. I let my emotions take over and then I find myself living a complete lie. I say things are okay and I put on this front like life is all rainbows and butterflies. I pretend like I'm not hurting when really I'm just numb to any other feeling but hurt. I would love to say that things get easier and in all honesty I have. I've told them it gets easier, but that is just not the truth. Things do not get easier, they just change.

I have spent so much time looking and aching for a feeling I'm just not sure I will ever find. I have questioned God more than I have ever trusted him. I have fallen in and out of faith. It pains me to write words so true as these but then again the truth never gets any easier. I know He has a plan but I will never understand it. I will never understand the pain, the mistakes, or the messiness. I just know lately I have felt so empty. It is different this time but I find myself falling on old habits. I think what hurts the most is thinking this was all over. I thought I was okay. I thought I was better. I thought things were changing - because I had planned for them too. I planned to be okay. In my head - there is a mental planner and at this stage in life it says "You're okay. It is over and you don't care anymore." Boy, was I wrong.



Carrie Underwood says it just right. "Then it hit me like lightning late one night, I was all out of hope and all out of fight. I couldn't fight back the tears so I fell to my knees saying God if you're there come and rescue me."